Jesus always speaks powerfully to me while I'm running. The other day, on a mid-day run, He quite literally brought me to my knees (I'm sure a frightening sight for an on-looking neighbor!).
We live in a world full of boxes. The goal is to find "the box", the box you fit into perfectly. There are so many boxes to choose from, too many choices really. Most of us find our box, where we feel comfortable and safe - free. Inside our box, we find others who make their home there as well. We develop relationships and rely on one another. We become a family. Our world loves these boxes. If you fit into a box, everything is swell. Of course we have small disagreements, but, for the most part, we are all family - functioning smoothly within our boundaries. There are few that are born to not fit into a box. We don't think about these few, for they are not in our box.
We learn of those who are called out of their boxes. We marvel at their courage to step out of the "safe" boundaries. We aspire to be like them if the calling comes. We try to encourage them on their walk. We pretend we understand what they are feeling and experience; sometimes, we live vicariously through them.
What box does my Joy fit into? For most of her 6 years I have been searching. I've even tried to squeeze her into a few boxes, just so she can feel the acceptance and love the boundaries provide. I received the calling to step out of my box and leaped right out. Anything for my precious Joy. I always told God I'd honor the call, no matter the cost. After all, we just haven't found her box yet, and someday we'll all settle back into our safe, comfortable boundaries.
The truth is, it is lonely outside the box. It's hard to live with the consequences of stepping out. It's hard to defend the reasons to unbelievers, who seem to have lost their interest anyway. It's easy to believe the enemy when he whispers how wrong my decisions may be and reminds me of my solitude. It's easy to forget He's right beside me (Ps. 23:4, Ps. 118:6), even though my head knows the Truth. It's easy to be so angry and confused...
....and as I ran, God gently reminded me that my Joy too is not in a box. He's given me an incredible gift by allowing me to understand, just a little, just how she must feel each day of her life. She lives in a reality of not being understood, in a world where few will try to understand. She lives with being different each day, not accepted. To add to the rejections of others in her world, her sensory system throws her body into chaos at any given moment. She tries to control her body, and meets incredible challenge...and still - she smiles.
While on my knees, He reminded me of one other truth as well. There's really just one box. Our world has imagined all kinds of boxes to help us feel safe and in control, accepted and loved. However, we all live in one box where a very real God loves us and has paid the ultimate price to show us this love. It takes some of us a lifetime to come to know this love and accept it, and some of the "special" ones, like my Joy, accept and comprehend this mercy and grace without questions. She's so amazing and teaches me so much. This "one box" has no boundaries. I'll only find freedom by following the leading of my Savior and answering to Him.
It's so simple really.
I pray each and every day for glimpses into her world. Thank you Jesus for this glimpse. I don't like walking in the valley, but I can appreciate the mountains more by walking through the valley. Thank You for Joy's beautiful, gracious disposition. Thank you for bringing Joy into this world "not fitting into a box". I think I'll let her be my tour guide for a bit.
We live in a world full of boxes. The goal is to find "the box", the box you fit into perfectly. There are so many boxes to choose from, too many choices really. Most of us find our box, where we feel comfortable and safe - free. Inside our box, we find others who make their home there as well. We develop relationships and rely on one another. We become a family. Our world loves these boxes. If you fit into a box, everything is swell. Of course we have small disagreements, but, for the most part, we are all family - functioning smoothly within our boundaries. There are few that are born to not fit into a box. We don't think about these few, for they are not in our box.
We learn of those who are called out of their boxes. We marvel at their courage to step out of the "safe" boundaries. We aspire to be like them if the calling comes. We try to encourage them on their walk. We pretend we understand what they are feeling and experience; sometimes, we live vicariously through them.
What box does my Joy fit into? For most of her 6 years I have been searching. I've even tried to squeeze her into a few boxes, just so she can feel the acceptance and love the boundaries provide. I received the calling to step out of my box and leaped right out. Anything for my precious Joy. I always told God I'd honor the call, no matter the cost. After all, we just haven't found her box yet, and someday we'll all settle back into our safe, comfortable boundaries.
The truth is, it is lonely outside the box. It's hard to live with the consequences of stepping out. It's hard to defend the reasons to unbelievers, who seem to have lost their interest anyway. It's easy to believe the enemy when he whispers how wrong my decisions may be and reminds me of my solitude. It's easy to forget He's right beside me (Ps. 23:4, Ps. 118:6), even though my head knows the Truth. It's easy to be so angry and confused...
....and as I ran, God gently reminded me that my Joy too is not in a box. He's given me an incredible gift by allowing me to understand, just a little, just how she must feel each day of her life. She lives in a reality of not being understood, in a world where few will try to understand. She lives with being different each day, not accepted. To add to the rejections of others in her world, her sensory system throws her body into chaos at any given moment. She tries to control her body, and meets incredible challenge...and still - she smiles.
While on my knees, He reminded me of one other truth as well. There's really just one box. Our world has imagined all kinds of boxes to help us feel safe and in control, accepted and loved. However, we all live in one box where a very real God loves us and has paid the ultimate price to show us this love. It takes some of us a lifetime to come to know this love and accept it, and some of the "special" ones, like my Joy, accept and comprehend this mercy and grace without questions. She's so amazing and teaches me so much. This "one box" has no boundaries. I'll only find freedom by following the leading of my Savior and answering to Him.
It's so simple really.
I pray each and every day for glimpses into her world. Thank you Jesus for this glimpse. I don't like walking in the valley, but I can appreciate the mountains more by walking through the valley. Thank You for Joy's beautiful, gracious disposition. Thank you for bringing Joy into this world "not fitting into a box". I think I'll let her be my tour guide for a bit.
